heart rot rotIf I was a zombieI'd eat your heart instead of your brainBecause that's how much I love you.
In Love WithI love her, but lately she seems to hate me and I don't understand why.I do everything for her. I treat her so much better than everyone else I could, I would, I can, I will, I do.She told me once I'm the only best thing for her. She told me that in the beginning when nothing was right inside and outside her head.You know how I found her? How I first met her? In her room with blood and tears on her wrists and a long story to tell. I let her tell me everything till she stopped leaking and the only thing falling down her face was her black hair.The same color as this thing in my chest, but I swore to her I would be good for her.I promised her too many things that I could keep because I fell in love with her. I told her things would be okay because I was there and her time was almost up. She started smiling thereafter.But now whenever I want to her kiss her, she dreads the contact. She never wants to see me. She never yells, but I love you! and doesn't want
Seven TimesMondayDad finally stopped crying long enough to acknowledge that Chana is here. We were sitting around the table during dinner even though neither Dad nor I have eaten in weeks. Chana was all smiles. She never sees anything wrong. Probably never will.I hate this I hate being around them and I want them to disappear, especially Chana.TuesdayChana is working her way back into old, dusty routines with awkward steps, like she's never been gone for almost a month. And Dad is accepting it because . . . because he missed his daughter. He wanted her back and now he has her so everything should be okay now. We're a "family" again, as "family" as it can get.Chana is banging on my door, sometimes kicking it. She's been doing it since last night, keeps saying, "Asa. Asa? Why you keep ignoring me? What did I do?"She knows what she's done.I'm not acknowledging her because she isn't supposed to be here.WednesdayDad screamed at me that I'm not accepting